If you’re still single in your 30’s and looking for a man there’s something you need to really start thinking about. The age of someone is really just a number and not a true indicator of something definitive like you may think. Once people hit their 30’s there becomes a real aging gap between people. Some people age like crazy in their 30’s and some people are able to fend off Father Time for the most part. Women tend to have it worse as guys that stay active and watch what they eat tend to age better but that’s not always the case. Every person will be different but there will be stark aging differences between some people that are close in age. You can’t judge everyone by a number.
Because of that you have to realize looking for a man in your 30’s is kind of like looking for a used car. Sure, you can still buy a new one but you better have the cash or be super attractive with a great personality. There are not a lot of available “new cars” for the taking in your 30’s. By “new cars” I mean guys that are good looking, successful career, never married, emotionally stable, and actually looking to get married and have a family. That’s what most never married girls in their 30’s are looking for but the reality is the pickings for those are slim. Most of those “new cars” got purchased by someone in their 20’s. Some are still on the lot having never been purchased but it takes quite a bit to get the needed financing to actually purchase them or they’re sitting there because there’s something wrong with them. Quality “new cars” in your 30’s are rare to find and even harder to get the financing. You better have your eyes peeled and shit together if that’s what you really want.
The reality is once you hit your 30’s you might want to check the used car lot or check the used cars online. That is if you really want a car rather than relying on public transportation or friends to get you around. “Getting a car” in your 30’s is real commitment. This gets tricky at first because you’ve never looked at used cars and only ever considered new cars but the inventory is really low on the new cars. Because of that, at some point you’ll start looking at the used cars wondering if you can find a late model with a few miles. It’s almost like new in your mind which is sound reasoning. The problem is you’re just looking at the year model and miles ignoring the actual wear and tear. You’re more concerned about the obvious numbers rather looking under the hood and interior to determine the true condition which numbers can’t state.
What you need to realize is there could be a used car out there that’s 8 years old with 80,000 miles. While that seems like a lot of years and miles what you don’t realize is it’s really not that old and those miles have been easy highway miles. In addition, the owner has changed the fluids religiously, washed and waxed it regularly, and was always cautious with the accelerator and brake. On the surface based on the numbers it seems to have a large amount of wear compared to others. However, when you look closer ignoring the numbers you start to realize this thing is in better shape than some of the later models with fewer miles because it’s been taken care of. Those numbers you think are so important have deceived you.
Let’s say comparatively you’re also looking at a car that’s only 2 years old with 30,000 miles. Just looking at the numbers the newer car with fewer miles seems to offer more long term potential. What you don’t realize is those 2 years and 30,000 miles was nothing but stop and go driving. Hard throttle and hard braking. In addition, the owner has never changed any fluids in the car since they drove it off the lot. Just looking at the numbers the 2 year old car seems to be more appealing than the 8 year old car. The reality is though if you spent any amount of time, like maybe a weekend, with both cars you’d realize the 8 year old car is a MUCH better long term option than the 2 year old car.
You can’t really judge a used car just on numbers just like you can’t judge suitors based solely on age, height, and weight. You should expand your search to include factors out of your normal search. Spend some time with those guys that are a little bit older or look a little differently than what you think you want. You might be really surprised at the condition of what an older model can offer if you’re finding you can’t get qualified for the financing on the few new models that are out there.
There’s a lot more under the surface that you should investigate. If you’re stuck on raw numbers and not the actual wear and tear you could either miss out on a well maintained older model or wind up with a newer model that’s been poorly cared for. If you’re out there looking around and see something that catches your eye give it a chance. Even if it doesn’t fit the parameters you have in your mind it still caught your eye for some reason so explore it some more. You might find out it’s been very well maintained and is going to give you years of enjoyment that you could have never imagined.
After all, when you hit your 30’s you don’t want someone to judge you solely by your age so why are you judging someone else by their age and perceived miles?
Also remember these blog posts are intended solely to introduce new ways of thinking to how you date. They’re not meant to be definitive but give you something different to think about if you’re really wanting out of the Vortex. If you’re still single you have two choices – 1) Roll the dice your current methods will pay off or 2) Explore doing things differently in hopes something different happens.
Either way, good luck!