Guys to Avoid

If you're looking for some traits of guys to avoid when you're dating in your 30s you've come to the right spot.  This list is compiled from a group of females that have lived the Vortex in some form or fashion.  Special shout out to the Girl Tribe of KK, Mal, Mer, and Stephie!  These are their traits straight from their mouths so don't pin this on me.  (My comments are in parenthesis) 

  • Guys with roommates.

  • Guys with no headboards.  (I suppose this is for safety and style)

  • Guys with no real jobs.  

  • Guys who flake straight out of the gate.

  • Guys who aren't up front about any physical issues.

  • Guys who show up to your house with ground meat and raw veggies as a bed time snack.  (I think they played a joke on me with this one)

  • Guys who bring ear plugs and a face mask to your house to stay the night.  (Guys do this???)

  • Guys with small penises and big trucks/overly fancy cars.  (I'm just typing these)

  • Clarification on above - Guys with small penises and normal vehicles are okay as are guys with big penises and big trucks/super fancy cars are okay.  Evidently ratio is important.  (I'm guessing guys with big penises and big trucks/super fancy cars aren't settling down anytime soon but what do I know?)

  • Guys with loud vehicles are compensating for something.  (Seems obvious since this isn't high school anymore)

  • Guys who have been out of a serious relationship less than three months.

  • Guys who haven't had a relationship of any kind since high school.

  • Guys who were recently laid off.  (Might want to use discretion if they're not perpetually unemployed and actively looking for a job)

  • Guys who try to hook up on a first date.  

  • Guys who lie about their age even if it's just a year.

  • Guys who lie about any ex-wife.

  • Guys who "work" out of town.

  • Guys who are coy about where they live if things seem like they're going well.

  • Basically anything with a penis that breaths...just stay away.  (I'm merely the messenger)

  • Guys who are not polite or respectful to servers at restaurants.

  • Shitty tippers.

  • Guys who cheated on their last girlfriend.  (I actually had to list this one?)

  • Guys who wear socks with flip flops or crocs.  (Without socks is up for debate depending on the girl but if the fella has socks with either then excuse yourself and don't look back)

  • Bad kissers.

  • Bad hygiene/Body odor.

  • Dirty place where they live.

  • Guys who show up to a first date in a white Hanes undershirt and sweat pants.  (Suppose a smoking jack would be a nice compliment to this look)

  • Guys with an alcohol problem.  Occasional drunk is allowed but they should be able to hold their liquor or know their limit by their 30s.

  • Gambling problem.

  • Both of the above is a double whammy obviously.

  • Guys who judge you when you order a bun with your burger.  (Dudes actually judge for this?  I'm sorry, carbs are delish y'all)

  • Guys who only eat salads.

  • Guys who are jerks to dogs.  (Man's best friend deserves respect)

  • Guys who your dog is leery of.  (Man's best friend knows)

  • Anyone who's still stocking groceries in their 20s.  (I'm sure their mom would love to have them out of the house though)

  • Full time bartenders.  (I suppose in your 30s you should be in management or selling something during the day)

  • Guys who are too scared to be single and only want to date for security with no real love.

  • Guys who say they only want to see you once a week.

  • Guys who wear short shorts.

  • Guys who wear rompers because they're fashionable.  (I added this one on my own)