The purpose of these blogs is not to crush dreams. They really aren’t. The purpose of these blogs is to introduce different things to think about. If you’re still single in your 30’s, something hasn’t worked. The entire purpose of the 30’s Vortex theory and its related works is to present to you different perspectives and ideas for you to process. You need to enact change in the way you think about dating or you’re just going to continue spinning in the Vortex. The only way out of the Vortex is to think, and most importantly act differently to how you’ve handled dating in the past.
With all of that, there’s some bad news in this blog because dreams are going to get crushed. You know that all-time favorite romantic movie you love called The Notebook? Yeah, well, it ain’t happening in your 30’s. There’s a whole host of reasons for it that are about to get explained.
First off, nobody writes letters anymore. People don’t even write checks these days. Nobody knows how to write legible sentences for the most part. Everybody types everything these days. Paragraphs are a thing of the past. A single complete sentence is the best thing that can be hoped for between humans resembling proper English. LOL AMIRITE? This is especially true with guys. When was the last time you met a guy that texted you full words and complete thoughts/sentences? And you’re still expecting a guy that’s going to hand write you a letter every day for a full year? Come on now. Give up that dream.
No guy is going to write you a well thought out hand written letter. You’re most likely going to get some long winded text that tries to explain he likes you, but he’s not really committing to you. He’s likely half drunk and lonely which is why he’s texting you in the first place. When he sobers up or finds some friends to hang out with, he’s going to forget all about that text anyway. Welcome to the modern day Notebook. Noah’s texting half ass messages to Allie because he’s been drinking and lonely. If you get a guy that’s making coherent sentences on a text and sounding like he’s willing to commit, you better have hearts in your eyes because that’s as good as it gets in today’s dating world.
Outside of the modern day communication difference between then and now, you have to remember Noah and Allie were also each other’s first loves. There’s a huge level of innocence there that’s impossible in your 30’s. In your 30’s, you’re guarded and jaded from past relationships and give up much easier when any rough waters emerge. Noah and Allie were young and innocent and fought through struggles. You don’t do that in your 30’s. You’re skeptical of any negative move a man makes because you’ve been burned too many times. Same thing with the men. At the first sign of trouble, both parties are cutting out instead of seeing it through. Noah and Allie were committed to each other because neither was jaded or covered in scars from previous loves. That’s not possible in your 30’s. If it is, you truly found a special person so you better hold on to them.
One more thing that makes The Notebook impossible is your unrealistic spreadsheet of desired traits in a man. You consider yourself to be of high class like Allie and for good reason. The problem is you expect a man to be on that level if not higher. That wasn’t Noah. Noah was a simple working class guy. You wouldn’t consider a Noah in your 30's even if he wrote you hand written letters every day because you’d see his house being a broke down starter house. You want a man that has a nice house with hardwoods and fancy granite countertops. You would never look at a project like Noah and fall for him because he’d be outside of your spreadsheet of desired traits. You want a highly finished man in your 30’s and those guys don’t tend to exist because they already got snatched up.
The Notebook is a great romantic movie, but if you’re still holding on to that dream in your 30’s, you need to give it up. It’s not going to happen. You’re too jaded and times have changed. What you need to be looking for is a guy that can make complete sentences in his texts about you, a guy that doesn’t run at the first sign of trouble, and a guy that has engineered hardwoods over base level carpeting. That’s still pretty good stuff. You’re just not going to find a guy in your modern day 30’s that will write you hand written letters, fight for you every step of the way, and give you real hardwoods with a wraparound porch. Times have changed and so has your innocence. Allie and Noah are just on the big screen and not real life.
Sorry to crush your dreams, but dating in your 30’s sucks. The Vortex has a hold on you unless you make the decision you want something different and change some of your thinking about men and dating.
If you're a female in or near you're 30's and have never heard of the 30's Vortex for Single Females I encourage you to watch the video explaining it here:
Some people find it offensive but the reality is those that it offends are the most guilty of doing the things it mentions. Make no mistake the pool of guys is terrible but if you want out of the Vortex you really need to think about what you're doing. If you're not willing to make some changes to how you date the odds are really high of you repeating the results you're seeing now.
If you want to learn more about each action that's likely creating a negative result you can watch some short videos here that hopefully explain how to think differently:
You can also read some of the various blogs on the website along with the detailed theory. The whole point of the 30's Vortex is really not to be offensive. It's meant to poke fun at the reality of dating and hopefully spur people to think differently about dating.
It's okay to be in the Vortex as there's nothing wrong being single. If you want out that though it's going to take some changes in how you're dating. Good luck!