Cinderella in your Thirties
A lot of girls grow up wanting to be Cinderella. Thank you, Disney, for your relentless quest for the almighty dollar. There is nothing wrong with having that fairytale fantasy as a girl growing up; however, when you reach your thirties, and Prince Charming hasn’t happened along, it’s probably best to give up on some elements of that fantasy. Prince Charming has probably already found someone at a ball you didn’t get invited to. There’s a chance Prince Pretty Good might happen along, but the reality is the best Princes got snatched up in their twenties when you weren’t looking. Super eligible guys in their thirties aren’t just riding around on their white horses like Disney would have you believe when you were a kid. Disney sells fantasies for money, but the reality is that it’s hard out on the streets when you’re looking for a long term mate.
It’s not impossible to find a really good long term mate in your thirties, but you need to break down the Cinderella story complex and face the reality of dating. You’ve likely dated a lot of guys that have left you disappointed, jaded, bitter, and guarded. Was Cinderella any of these despite her awful living conditions? Sure, she had her moments when things looked bleak because of her stepfamily, but at her core, she was a nice and beautiful person inside. She was living with some serious bitches, but she made besties with mice and birds that would help her out. She wasn’t completely jaded about her situation and had a positive attitude.
When the big day comes for the ball, Cinderella gets dumped on again by her bitch ass stepsisters as they tear up her beautiful dress after she slaved all day on her chores so she could go. Talk about some serious bad luck, but Cinderella perseveres thanks to her fairy godmother. In real life, you’re not going to have a fairy godmother. At best, you’re going to have an awesome friend that helps you keep a positive attitude. There’s not one single person you know that can fix your torn up dress, turn a pumpkin into a carriage, and transform mice into horses to pull that carriage. Get that thought out of your mind. You and your bestie are just going to have to keep a positive attitude without magic.
You have to be realistic that Prince Charming doesn’t exist. Before you can move on to learning from Cinderella’s actions at the ball, you have to admit there’s no Prince Charming waiting at a ball for you, and at best, there’s Prince Pretty Good you were set up with by a friend or even Prince Okay from a dating website/app. That’s as good as it’s going to get in your thirties.
The most important thing you can learn from Cinderella at the ball is despite being total smitten by her Prince she got her ass home by the final stroke of midnight. Cinderella didn’t want to be exposed but your reason to leave at midnight is different. Once you hit 30 realize there’s nothing good that can happen after midnight. If you haven’t found your Prince by midnight then it’s time to take it home sister. Even if you’re in the company of your Prince for the first time ever it’s still best if you pack it in by midnight. If you learn one lesson from Cinderella at the ball it’s that once you hit your thirties nothing good happens after midnight. Don’t ever forget that.
If you left the date by midnight there’s not going to be a royal party show up at your house a few days later with your prince. Let’s face it if that did happen you’d probably lock yourself in your house and call the cops because you’re so jaded and guarded from dating. The reality is you’ll get a text seeing if you want to get to get together which in your thirties is the equivalent of Prince Charming showing up with your glass slipper. The other reality is that even if you let your guard down and give this prince a chance there’s going to be a few rough patches. There’s not going to be an immediate wedding and ruling an empire.
It’s not impossible to find a certain level of a prince in your thirties, but your reality needs to be adjusted for what this prince might look and act like. You also need to be realistic on the effort you’ll need to put forth in order to make the relationship work. There’s no fairy godmother and there’s no glass slipper. You’re going to have to put some work into it and make sacrifices. At best there’s a Prince Pretty Good set up by a friend and a text after the date. Anything beyond that is a fantasy Disney is selling for money.
Hopefully you laughed a little at the above as it's not all meant to be true but there is some reality in it.
If you're a female in or near you're 30's and have never heard of the 30's Vortex for Single Females I encourage you to watch the video explaining it here:
Some people find it offensive but the reality is those that it offends are the most guilty of doing the things it mentions. Make no mistake the pool of guys is terrible but if you want out of the Vortex you really need to think about what you're doing. If you're not willing to make some changes to how you date the odds are really high of you repeating the results you're seeing now.
If you want to learn more about each action that's likely creating a negative result you can watch some short videos here that hopefully explain how to think differently:
You can also read some of the various blogs on the website along with the detailed theory. The whole point of the 30's Vortex is really not to be offensive. It's meant to poke fun at the reality of dating and hopefully spur people to think differently about dating.
It's okay to be in the Vortex as there's nothing wrong being single. If you want out that though it's going to take some changes in how you're dating. Good luck!