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Thoughts on Hannah and Her Duds

June 27, 2019

 

Coming into this season’s The Bachelorette I was torn on how excited I was.  I had serious fatigue from Colton’s season because it was episode after episode of too many forced storylines.  I get reality TV isn’t 100% reality but some of it must be organic.  I felt with Colton’s season the Producers were 100% pushing every storyline.  Demi was the only real redeeming quality but even she got old after a few episodes.

 

As for Hannah I wasn’t sure on her.  After watching her interaction with the initial guys on Colton’s After The Rose I saw promise.  Hannah was very vulnerable and whimsical.  She didn’t appear to have any grand plan for the show and was just going to flow with it.  It was refreshing to see someone who didn’t have an ulterior motive for fame and was just going to let the show happen.

 

Here we are however many weeks into this season and it’s an unwatchable mess.  All because of one person.  Luke P is the WORST CONTESTANT ever.  I’ll get to him in more detail but he has DESTROYED this season.  I don’t know if this is the Producer’s doing or Hannah’s but he has flat out destroyed this season.  He has ZERO redeeming qualities.

 

There’s always a main villain but they have some redeeming qualities.  In recent memory Chad Bear was a conceited a-hole but he had a personality and had some great lines.  Jordan was wheels off but he was as entertaining as it gets.  Luke P brings NOTHING to the table other than a repeated negative circle.  Not one ounce of entertainment.  There is NOTHING beneficial about Luke P.

 

Shows on this franchise sometimes drag but for whatever reason the Producers have decided to let the Luke P storyline dominate this season.  Week after week the Luke P storyline is consuming at least half of every episode.  If we could watch scenes without Luke P it would only take an hour even with commercials.  It would also be MUCH more entertaining.  Luke P is a total entertainment suck.

 

I have a feeling he’s a Producer Pick but if he’s not they should have convinced Hannah to cut him a couple episodes ago.  He’s completely ruining this season.  He should have been gone when Hannah couldn’t give a one on one rose.  That’s standard protocol for this show.  You suck on a one on one and you go home.  That’s the rules.  Somehow Luke not only found himself with a second chance but he keeps getting a rose at the Rose Ceremony.  It’s maddening and destroying this season.

 

Enough about that dipshit.  Let’s get to some other part of the season so far.

 

Hannah:

 

I have been VERY impressed with Hannah this season.  She’s really the only redeeming quality about this season.  She’s funny and just flowing with it.  She’s not trying to be someone she’s not.  She’s just being her goofy self and it works.

 

She’s evolved so much since early on in Colton’s season.  She could have spiraled when Caelynn was trying to get her thrown off the show but she stood her ground.  She’s come back stronger than ever.  Speaking of Caelynn is she even watching this show?  I think Caelynn is going on BiP but surely it must burn her up watching Hannah as The Bachelorette.  Hannah – 1, Caelynn – 0.

 

What I’ve mainly been impressed with Hannah is how she’s handled her guys.  Her guys are the biggest collective group of losers ever.  Even without Luke P this group needs SERIOUS help.  Hannah has done everything she can to draw out some personality and emotion from this sad sack of fellas.  If this had been Becca with this group of duds the show would have been even more unwatchable.

 

I’ve been most impressed with how Hannah has handled Luke P.  It’s a little confusing if Hannah is allowing Luke P to hang around.  If she is then she has some serious issues.  No female should allow someone like him to hang around their life. 

 

I believe he’s a Producer’s Pick because Hannah went and talked to the Producers during their one on one.  She was begging the Producers to go talk to Luke and straighten him out.  To me that was a clear sign of, “If you’re going to force this guy on me you’re going to have to do some of the work to make this look real.  He sucks and I’m not going to be the only one dealing with this moron.”

 

If so, she’s making the best of a crappy situation repeatedly calling him on his bullshit.  We all know the show would be better without Luke P but if he’s being forced on Hannah by the Producers she’s handling it as best she can.  She deserves a medal for playing along with this moron.

 

I’m not sure Hannah finds everlasting love on this season but she’s set herself her up to be very successful after this.  I can see her hosting a show or being a correspondent of some kind if that’s what she wants to do.  She’s very natural at being relatable and lovable on television.  She’s a goofball and most folks are a little goofy.

 

We’ll see what happens with Hannah but she’s been very impressive and the ONLY redeeming thing about this show.

 

Her Guys Not Named Luke P:

 

This group of dudes is a collective group of duds.  I mean a total group of duds.  They have minimal personality and are completely lost.  I’m not sure Hannah has any real connection to any of these guys.  There’s certainly some chemistry but I’m not sure it’s anything more than drunk at a party chemistry.

 

This best example for these guys being duds is during the Luke P drama with Garrett.  At the Cocktail Party Garrett immediately grabs Hannah and takes her to talk.  Things are going great with Garrett talking about the two of them.  Then Garrett brings up Luke P.  Garrett just can’t leave it alone.

 

This pisses off Hannah so she goes and tells the group they need to straighten their shit out.  They need to leave the Luke P drama behind them.  She’s basically telling them she got dolled up and she wants the damn attention.  Not Luke P.

 

What do these dumbasses do?  They continue to talk about Luke P after Hannah leaves the room.  Hannah is all alone and frustrated.  Not one of these dumbasses goes to talk to her.  Not a single one.  They just sit there talking about what Hannah told them not to talk about.  Meanwhile, Hannah is all alone wanting someone to show her some attention.  They just sit there talking about Luke P and ignoring Hannah.  Total dumbasses.

 

At that point; Peter, Jed, and Tyler were clearly running lead.  If any of those other dumbasses wanted to make up ground they should have excused themselves and talked to Hannah like a normal person.  That’s all she wanted.  None of them could figure it out.  Not one.  Dumbasses.

 

There’s a lot of other examples but this single moment galvanized how stupid this collective group of guys is.

 

Let’s get to some of them specifically:

 

Jed – We’ll start with “singer/songwriter” Jed.  He and Hannah have an obvious connection but I don’t think it’s that strong.  I think he’s a good guy but Hannah is just more smitten by his musical ability than anything else.  As for his musical ability, I don’t see this guy ever making it in the music scene.  He obviously has some talent but I haven’t been impressed by anything he’s done so far.  The song he serenaded Hannah with sound like some pop abomination.  The song he sang to her in bed had decent lyrics but wasn’t anything special.  I’m not saying I could do better but I’m not in Nashville trying to make it as a “singer/songwriter” either.  I wish the kid the best but I think he’s a little too lost in life for Hannah to pick him in the end.  He’ll make Hometowns and might even make the Final 2 but he won’t get the final rose.

 

Garrett – This guy is way overrated.  He’s way too concerned with Luke P and not Hannah.  He’s a little too full of himself and it’s going to get him in the end.  He and Hannah have a slight connection but he’s not letting it develop.  He’s just staying on the surface of their relationship and nothing more.  He might make Hometowns but he’ll be the last person to make it.

 

Tyler C – Tyler hails as a “General Contractor” from Jupiter, Florida.  I’m sorry but no “General Contractor” from Jupiter, Florida wears pants like he does.  If someone showed up to a jobsite wearing those they’d get their ass kicked to quote Lawrence from Office Space.  My guess is he’s an aspiring model with a dad who has a general contracting business where he works between modeling gigs.

 

I can’t quite read this guy because he comes across as a player with an alternative agenda.  I do think he has genuine interest in Hannah though.  He’s just a little lost in life because he’s trying to figure out a way out of the general contracting business in Jupiter.  I can’t blame him one bit.  I’d want out of that life too.  I’m pretty sure he’ll make Hometowns and he’ll compete with Jed to be the first runner up.

 

He reminds me of a more attractive Jason from Becca’s season.  He’s super smooth with his words but there’s something missing.  He and Hannah have solid physical chemistry but the emotional chemistry isn’t quite there.  The words are being said to develop but something is holding it back.  I think both Hannah and Tyler are unsure of one another.

 

If he comes in second or third it won’t matter for Tyler’s long-term outlook.  I think Tyler is going to be just fine after this show.  I think he’d make a good Bachelor.  He’s got the looks and seems to have enough personality to carry a season with the right group of girls.  His competition to be the next Bachelor isn’t much from this season.  I think he’s head and shoulders above this group.  He’d also clean up on BiP I have a feeling.  Either way, if he stays focused he won’t have to worry about “general contracting” in Jupiter much longer.

 

Connor – This guy’s vocal fry really annoys me.  He keeps hanging around because he brought Hannah that soup and followed the Producer’s directions for putting those notes all over her room.  She remembers the soup and his name.  Nothing more.  He won’t make Hometowns for sure.  I think he’s gone next Rose Ceremony.

 

Mike – Mike is one cool cat but he’s completely in the friend zone with Hannah.  He’s a little too guarded and it’s not helping him.  I could potentially see him as the next Bachelor but I think he’s a little too reserved.  I think he’s second deserving behind Tyler C.  He could potentially make Hometowns if the other guys completely screw things up with Hannah.  That’s possible with this group of duds.  I can DEFINITELY see Mike on BiP so we won’t be done with him after Hannah’s season.

 

Peter – This is Peter’s contest to lose.  There’s no doubt in my mind.  Hannah wasn’t just teasing when she said Peter was her boyfriend.  She also made the comment she could see Peter pushing a stroller.  Hannah seems like a traditional girl and Peter fits her traditional values.  There’s a physical connection and the emotional connection seems to be the best of the guys.

 

Peter is kind of a goober and aloof.  I think that works in his favor with Hannah.  Hannah isn’t a total dominant personality but I think the guy that will work best with Hannah is a guy she can steer a bit here and there.  Peter comes across as a total puppy dog and I think that’s just what Hannah is looking for.  Maybe Peter doesn’t win it all.  Based on what we’ve seen he has the best connection with her without a doubt in my mind.  We’ll just have to see if that develops into the final rose and anything long term.  Right now, my money is definitely on Peter for sure.

 

Luke P:

 

Why he’s still here I have no clue.  I can’t figure this guy out.  I don’t know if he’s just dumb as a rock or a really bad manipulator.  He’s the only one in the house that can’t remember the things he says.  He continually denies the things he said or tries to twist what he said into something else.  At best he’s regularly apologizing for being “mis-understood.”  It’s not a good situation at all from a viewing standpoint.

 

There’s no doubt in my mind in a relationship he’d be verbally abusive or manipulative.  I’m 50/50 on him being physically violent.  Let’s not forget he body slammed Luke S and kneed him in the head because he “felt threatened.”  Luke S is not physically intimidating compared to Luke P.  Luke P has serious mental issues he needs to work on.  He doesn’t need to be pursuing a relationship with any female right now.  I don’t think this is a glorified act. 

 

I’ll admit I can’t wait to see how Luke P handles The Men Tell All.  Surely after watching the season he’d have some realization of how he is.  However, I think he’s going to be the constant denier and excuse maker.  He’ll continue talking in circles like he’s been on the show.  It’s maddening.  He needs help.

 

I could go on and on about Luke P but he’s not worth the effort.  He’s simply the worst contestant ever.  Whoever is responsible for keeping him around this long needs a serious talking to.

 

 

I’m sure I’ll keep watching because there’s nothing else on Monday nights.  It doesn’t mean I won’t fast forward through scenes with Luke P trying to make a two hour show into a show less than an hour.  Luke P is just that bad.  And that’s saying something considering how bad some people have been on this show over the years…

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