This Bachelor recap is going to be different than the others for a host of reasons. I could not watch the Finale live because I was at a work conference. No way was I going to hole up in my hotel room for five hours on Monday and Tuesday night to watch The Bachelor Finale when I could have been at work dinners networking. A man has his limitations and I wasn't going to miss out on real work opportunity to watch Arie make bone headed moves. That's what the DVR is for. I read ahead last weekend so I knew what was going to happen. When I did watch I didn't take my normal notes like I've done for the other recaps. This episode was so bizarre it was really unlike any other episode. Yes, Chris Harrison wasn't just being sensational. This episode was INSANE.
I'm not even sure where to start. The first two hours were typical Bachelor Finale stuff. The girls met Arie's family and the family seemed to like both girls equally. They realized the girls were different but at their core they are both great girls. Of course, this didn't help Arie one bit because even though he's 36 he was clueless on who to pick. It’s become clear Arie is 36 with limited decision-making capability. He really needed his family to help him choose but they were indifferent. I'll talk about this more in a bit but I think his Dad's recommendation of Becca was a MAJOR in determinant in Arie doing what he did.
After leaving family time Arie and the girls go on their final one on one date to help Arie decide. The problem is Arie had no clue who he was going to choose. That final one on one date really shouldn't matter but it did for Arie. Unfortunately, we didn't see any drama like Ben Higgins and Jojo trying to hide from the cameras in the bathroom not realizing there were microphones recording their conversation. Now that was great Bachelor Finale television but Arie gave us none of that. What we did get on the final one on ones was Arie realizing Becca was in a MUCH better position to get engaged. Lauren still had her reservations and Becca had her shit together. The scrapbook, her words, and everything else showed a woman ready to get engaged. Arie's heart was with Lauren but his head knew Becca was the girl to propose to.
We then get to the proposal scene which to be honest was not all that romantic. They were on a farm in Peru where the girls had to walk down grass steps to get to Arie and then there was a brown river flowing behind them. Don’t know if I’d call that romantic but this is Arie. First up is Lauren which indicated she wouldn't be the girl for Arie. You can see the sadness on Arie's face while Lauren is talking. He loves her but he won’t be proposing this day. Arie drops the news and they both get sad. Arie walks her to the SUV and they talk some more and Arie tells her that he loves her. This wasn't a, “Hey, champ. I love you. You're gonna be just fine and I wish you the best.” This was, “I'm still very much in love with you and I think I might be making a big mistake here.” Even Lauren knew it.
Next up was Becca who was absolutely glowing. So much so she got Arie to smile even though Arie was still unsure of what he was doing. I'm not convinced Arie was ready to propose to Becca but Becca in her strong way basically talked Arie into doing it. Arie gets down on one knee asking for her hand and they get engaged. They look happy and ready to “start their life.” Becca is ecstatic and Arie is ecstatic someone actually agreed in principle to marry him. Talk about a real love story.
Instead of the normal After The Final Rose we get Chris Harrison telling us we're about to see something that's never been seen on The Bachelor(ette) franchise. I've only been watching for 2 years but Harrison wasn't kidding. We see Becca arriving at their “weekend house” and we know something is up. You'd have to be a moron on Arie's level to not realize what Arie was about to do. Arie is there to end the engagement and we're about to watch it all on two cameras unedited. It really was riveting television. The Bachelor was giving us a real-time engagement breakup.
I personally don't think Becca was completely blindsided by this. I don't think she thought Mr. Pea Brain was going to completely break off the engagement but I think she knew something was going down. Just like I don't think Ross showed up to her hotel room without her knowing something like that was coming. Becca is a smart girl and somebody tipped her to what was coming. I mean other than some profanities and tears she was the DEFINITION of strength and grace. She never dog cussed Arie which she had every right especially since he mentioned Lauren repeatedly. She never threw anything or stormed around the house. She never yelled, “Turn off the damn cameras” or even block them. She simply told Arie a few times he needed to go where most women would have yelled at the top of their lungs to GTFO of the house. Becca was AMAZINGLY composed for someone that just got told there will be no wedding because there's another girl. Arie told her he was leaving her for another woman. I get it's The Bachelor but the mention of another competing woman will make the sanest woman CRAZY.
Not Becca. She may not have known details but she knew there was the chance Arie was going to do this. The best was when she un-miced herself after Arie left. She was so composed she knew the scene was over. She was VERY aware of what was going on. Doesn't make it any easier but I think she was more a willing party to the whole thing than was made out to be. She even commented as much in her post event interviews.
Now let's try and unpack how bizarre all of this was. I'm not even sure where to start because there's so much to talk about. I guess I can start by saying how disappointed I was that Ross didn't make an appearance during the break up scene. The producers really tried to sell it was real so Ross wasn't called in from the bullpen which was disappointing. I would have LOVED to have Ross walk in and put some flowers on the table and say, “Hey Becca. Here's some flowers. Gimme a call when y'all are done. Good luck with Lauren, Arie.” At least the producers could have had a full-size cardboard cutout of Peru Ross in his wrinkled suit outside a window. The show needed more Ross. Ross is good television.
The next night they show Arie go to Lauren’s parents’ house for their first conversation post Becca break up. Not surprising Arie needed a timeout before knocking on the door even though it was obvious she was waiting on him. Lauren agreed to let them tape their first in person conversation and Arie doesn’t know how it’s going to go. She’s waiting on you, dumbass. Knock on the damn door and win your woman back. It’s all lack of self-confidence. No timeout needed but Arie loves to call a timeout.
Back to Becca no matter how much she knew was going to happen prior to it happening she got her engagement broke off for another woman. Real or fake that's humiliating but Becca handled it with amazing strength and grace. Every interview and even going on live with Chris Harrison that Monday night she was strong and graceful. Sure, it helps that Arie is a total moron but Becca was the picture of a strong and graceful woman that all women should be proud of. Even when she was face to face with Arie for the first time since the breakup she was amazingly composed. If I can knock her for one thing it's her telling Arie he took her first engagement from her. Come on girl. You signed up to be on The Bachelor and convinced a total moron to propose to you. Don't play the victim card here. You're party to that whole fiasco as you didn't have to tell Mr. Pea Brain you loved him. Kendall didn't so there was a path to not have your engagement taken. Other than that she was perfection handling all of this.
I'm interested to see how she handles being The Bachelorette because she seems so composed. She doesn't seem full of drama at all and is strong making smart decisions. Then again, she did think it was a good idea to be engaged to Arie. Maybe we shouldn't totally look past the fact she let herself fall in love with Arie. I don't think that's a badge of honor but she should be a great Bachelorette. I'm interested to see how things turn out for her since she got the biggest form of an unanswered prayer when Arie broke it off. I mean she should have Garth playing that song over and over to her. She's now the Bachelorette rather than being Mrs. Arie. Lemons to lemonade y'all.
As for Arie I'm completely torn on him. I'm not defending him but I can't tell where he is in the Vortex. Coming into the finale I thought he was somewhere between a good guy that would never get married or a Dbag. He's 36 and never married and clearly loves the attention of multiple ladies. But seeing him with Lauren throughout the show and together it's clear he loves her. Sometimes your heart has a thing for someone and his heart has ALWAYS had a clear thing for Lauren. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt if he and Lauren get married. I put it at 50/50 chance because they both have the same personality (or lack thereof) which I think helped align their hearts.
Arie proposed to Becca for three reasons in my book:
1) I think his dad's comment about Becca being the best girl for him was a major influence. It's clear Arie is bad at making his own decisions. I think Arie's dad got him the job at the Pizza Hut and obviously into racing. I wouldn't be shocked if his dad has some real estate friends in Scottsdale that's pulling Arie along. It only makes sense Arie took his dad's recommendation to heart deciding on Becca.
2) Becca is an amazing woman and clearly ready to get married and even more important have kids. While men don't necessarily have biological clocks Arie sees that gray hair every morning knowing he's not getting younger. I think Arie truly wants kids and Becca was ready to give them to him. Lauren wasn't anywhere close.
3) I think there's amazing pressure by the producers to propose. The normal thing would be to say, “Hey, I like you. Let's just keep dating like normal people instead of proposing after 2 months of knowing each other and me sending a girl home I told I loved not 10 minutes before you got here.” That would be the normal thing but I think the producers really push to have a ring given. Hell, I wouldn't be shocked if the producers told Arie he could propose and then have a break up scene which would give him another hour on television. Arie totally bought into it all because once again he sucks at making decisions.
I'm not defending Arie at all because he pulled some major shady shit going from Becca to Lauren. My favorite was Bekah M on ATFR saying Arie is manipulative because he tells you what you want to hear. Bekah, honey, I'm sorry but manipulative people have some level of brain cells. Arie couldn't be manipulative if he read Manipulation for Dummies. He's too stupid. That's why he was intimidated by Seinne and Jaqueline. It's also why he gave Krystal so much rope because she's dumb as a rock. Arie is a pleaser and can't think beyond the moment he's in so he tells people what they want to hear. That's how Becca got proposed to. Becca and his dad talked him into it and Lauren didn’t say enough. There was NO WAY Arie had a grand plan to propose to Becca, break up with her, and then get Lauren so he'd be remembered in The Bachelor fame for eternity. He's too dumb for that.
Let's look at the shadiest thing he did which proves how dumb he is. Without Becca knowing he sent a direct message to Lauren on Instagram on New Year's Eve. Let's break all that down:
1) Hiding it from his fiancé showing NO respect to Becca. He did that because he's too dumb. Sure, he was hedging his situation but it's because he lacked self-confidence to end things with Becca to go get Lauren. He didn't have the balls to end it with Becca before reaching out to Lauren.
2) He didn't have her number because they never exchanged it and he felt he couldn't get it from the producers. Are you kidding me? The producers would have called Lauren for him had they known what he was trying to cook up. Instead, because he doesn't have the balls or brain he used SOCIAL MEDIA to reach out to Lauren. This is FASCINATING to me because one of the most “popular” people in America went so basic sliding into someone's DM. That's the mark of a stupid and desperate man.
3) It was NEW YEARS EVE!!!!! Where the hell was Becca??? In the other room??? On the couch next to him??? NYE was on a Sunday this year. That's the damn weekend. Surely he and Becca were together on NYE. He couldn't wait until Becca wasn't with him? Or maybe Becca wasn't with him and he was lonely his lips wouldn't be on someone else's at midnight so he reached out to Lauren. I can't imagine what Lauren felt when she saw a message from Mr. Pea Brain on NYE.
A 36-year-old “engaged man” that just finished taping The Bachelor is sliding into an exes direct message on the Insta on NEW YEARS EVE!!! It's shady as all get out but it's fascinating. That damn direct message needs to be made public by someone. I want to read it. Arie said America deserved to see the break up with Becca but America deserves to see that DM to Lauren. That's what America deserves, Mr. Arie Luyendyk, Jr. Screw Trump and the Russians. Let’s get the FBI to expose these messages between Arie and Lauren.
Maybe Arie is truly manipulative but I just think he's a total moron which explains how he's 36 and never married despite having some level of money and fame. I think he and Lauren will get married and likely stay together. They have the EXACT same mind where they lack self-confidence and for the most part a personality. They could be perfect together. They also said all the right things afterwards saying they're getting away for a bit and off social media. When that trip is done Lauren is moving to Scottsdale which is perfect for them. Stay out of the limelight trying to build something. If they don't make it then it's clear Arie will spin in the Vortex forever and never get married. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt because he's not smart. Maybe he and Lauren are right for each other.
Now we just wait and see how strong and graceful Becca is because this show is going to test every ounce of sanity she has. This is the reason why we watch after all. We want to see normal people do stupid and crazy stuff. They don't do two of these a year because nobody watches. I’ll be back to blogging when Becca goes looking for the man of her dreams. I hope Garth comes out and sings Unanswered Prayers at some point. Hopefully Becca realizes what a bullet she dodged.
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If you haven’t seen the 30’s Vortex for Single Females video which explains much of what’s talked about in this you can watch in on the home page here:
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