Why There's a Shortage of Good Men
Data from 2012 proves there are more college educated females in America than college educated males under 40. The are over 55 females to 45 males. That means there really are fewer good men than females. Read on to find out more.
The basics of the 30’s Vortex theory can be broken down into three main legs:
There are more quality single females in their 30’s than quality single males for those females.
The mindset of the available men does not lend itself to a long term committed relationship.
The actions women make in the Vortex keep them in the Vortex.
Here's the 30's Vortex video if you've never seen it:
If you’re single in your 30’s it’s well worth the 8 minutes to understand some of the dynamics at play. The video is not meant to be offensive or depressing. It's meant to be informative and help females understand the challenges in dating as opposed to denying the reality. A female controls EVERYTHING about her environment and can make changes if she wants. The 30's Vortex is meant solely to help her recognize and make changes. As you’re about to see there is now some research to back up what is said in the video.
Thanks to the book “Dateonomics” by Jon Birger we can now quantify most of the first leg above and parts of the second leg. If you want to take a more strategic approach to dating in your 30’s, I HIGHLY recommend you read this book. This book will give you some amazing data and ideas that may help you position yourself differently for finding a long-term mate if that is truly what you’re looking for. If you want to keep doing what you’re doing or pretend the fantasy narrative is out there for you that is perfectly fine. You won’t like this book much because it’s meant to explain what is reality. You’ll need to be a strategic thinker to truly utilize what this book offers.
Published in 2015, the book looks at many factors related to the perception women struggle to find suitable men to marry. The main basis for Birger’s book is what he calls the Female to Male ratio for college educated adults in the United States. Since 1982 more women have received undergraduate degrees than men every single year. That’s 36 straight years that women have outnumbered men in receiving college degrees. Dateonomics explains there are many factors for this. A lot of it is based on the fact men mature at a later age than women. Women tend to excel on the academic side of things in high school and are more focused on going to college. Men also have a better opportunity to earn a decent living doing blue collar jobs or spending a couple of years doing a trade school not going to college. None of this is meant to be sexist or say things are unfair but merely to try and explain the numbers. There is absolutely a higher number of females under 40 with college degrees than men in the United States.
Data published in 2012 shows there was a ratio of 55 women to 45 men that were between the ages of 30 and 39 that possess a college degree. For the ages of 22 to 29 that ratio was even worse for women at 57 to 43. In the span of a decade the ratio has gone from being 22% more college educated females to 33% more college educated females. That’s from 2012 so the ratio is worse for those demographics today. The ratio is trending even bigger as even more women are receiving college degrees. Women outnumber men on most college campuses across the country. The University of North Carolina has a 60:40 ratio of women to men and the University of Georgia has a ratio of 62:38 women to men. There are a few schools in the country where men outnumber the women but they’re few and far between. These are mostly heavy science and engineering schools like Georgia Tech as you can imagine. If current females in their 30’s think it’s hard to find a man, the females that are currently in their 20’s will struggle even more when they hit their 30’s based on raw data.
The leg of the Vortex that relates to all of this uses the term “quality” but that’s a subjective term. For his book Birger quantified people with college degrees. We’ll use that basis from Dateonomics to justify the leg of the Vortex that states “quality” women outnumber “quality” men based on raw numbers alone. Every female is going to have her own definition of “quality” but by and large college educated women are more than likely going to want to date college educated men. You can dispute the 30’s Vortex theory based on semantics all you want. For most women there is data that proves how horrible the 30’s Dating Pool is. If not, just look around at the single fellas in their 30’s. You say there are not enough good men out there and here’s data that proves it thanks to Birger.
Beyond the raw numbers of college graduates this book looks at how these numbers play out based on geography. New York is a terrible place for single women looking to settle down while San Francisco/San Jose is a wonderful place for single women to find a long-term mate. Females need to look at these locations as being more apt to finding a man. There’s stories of women that left New York for San Francisco and Aspen finding love within months of settling in. Geography and the female/male ratio appears to play a factor in women finding a long-term mate. Much of the book is based on stories in New York because that is where the author is based but the stories will likely ring true based on where you live. It’s great anecdotal evidence to back up what the numbers say.
The book also looks at the mentality of the single men in those male deprived markets along with the biology behind it. The gist is at our core we’re all animals and wired a certain way based on biology. Just like animals, humans will adapt to their environment. When a man is in a “target rich” environment he’s less likely to stay in a committed relationship because no female is special enough and he knows there will be another come along shortly. Even without all the technology tools available today men will figure out they’re in short supply and maximize their pleasure in that environment. Females in those environments will give that male attention and pleasure but he’ll likely move on. This starts on college campuses where females usually outnumber the males so the hook up culture is becoming more of the norm. Guys are basically coming out of college conditioned to never be in a committed relationship. The book doesn’t really discuss this but females are too. These females don’t change that mentality until their biological clock starts ticking in their 30’s and they don’t know how to adapt. They’re fine being in a hook up environment for the most part until their biological clock starts ticking and it becomes too late. Hence a big reason why the 30’s Vortex exists. The girls are too late to adapt if they really want one man for the rest of their life.
The author also discusses relationships as it relates to the Game Theory. Game Theory is a study in how humans behave in environments to optimize their outcome based on various factors. This is by far my favorite chapter of the book because it talks about multiple variables beyond raw data. He talks about how the women that hold out too long looking for Mr. Perfect would have been better off not waiting and even, gasp, “settling” to a degree. He also talks about giving ultimatums to men can work in a woman’s favor for good or bad. The bad can be good as she can move on knowing he was never going to commit. He talks about how the divorce population becomes a factor for people looking to find their long-term mate as people get older. He talks about how women that are more assertive can be more successful. Some guys just need direction or are afraid to approach women for fear of rejection. Those guys sound boring but if you’re looking to find a long-term man it’s okay to make a little effort yourself. If you’re truly interested in changing your strategy for finding a long-term mate this chapter is completely worth getting the book.
His final chapter is his thoughts on some things that could change to help women find a long-term mate. Picking a college with a more balanced male/female ratio is a good start. Not holding out forever, picking a city with a better male:female ratio, and even considering blue collar men is a start. Lots of females with college degrees don’t want to consider blue collar men but the author makes some excellent points as to why women should be more open to it than they realize.
Dateonomics overall is a pretty short read at 186 pages for the paperback. If you really want to maximize your time reading this book I suggest reading Chapters 1, 2, 4, 5, 7 and 8. Those pertain the most to single females. The other two chapters are interesting in proving out the author’s thoughts but some females might find them boring and they don’t pertain to her. Those chapters mentioned to read are 121 pages that you can read in 3-5 hours depending on how fast you read. If you’re serious about trying a new strategy with new knowledge in your dating life this book is well worth the $12.22 in paperback on Amazon. You may not like much of what it says but it’s reality. If you’re not a strategic thinker you can continue in hopes that your Cinderella fantasy is alive and well but as this book spells out it’s likely not. You can embrace reality or deny it with a big roll of the dice Mr. Perfect is sitting out there for you and will magically find you. Research says he won’t.
Here's a link to the book on Amazon to make even easier for you - https://www.amazon.com/Date-onomics-Dating-Became-Lopsided-Numbers/dp/076118208X/
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